How to love unconditionally

How to love unconditionally

Don’t let this discourage you. Of course, it’s one of the toughest processes to go through, but it’s the most rewarding. In order to love unconditionally, it’s going to take a lot of work, time, and patience. But it’s completely doable.

Let’s forget about the pressure of social media, society, and our families. The only way to love unconditionally is through loving yourself. Yes, it sounds cheesy, but it’s cheesy because it’s true.

If you want to experience true, unconditional love, then follow these tips. It’s not easy to learn how to love unconditionally, but it’s worth it.

1. You need to love yourself first

You’ve heard this time and time again, but listen, we’re saying it for a reason. You simply cannot give love to others when you don’t love yourself.

If you hate yourself, how can you think that you can give pure and positive love to someone else?

It’s really simple: you can’t give what you don’t have. Though it’s simple, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

2. It’s not about words

We think that in order to show love, you need to tell people that you love them. It’s certainly one way of expressing love, but the best unconditional expression of love is through actions.

Anyone can say ‘I love you’ but someone who is giving pure love will always show it. Big or small acts, it doesn’t matter. Just show it.

3. Always question yourself

You should be thinking to yourself, “Am I giving the most love that I can give to this person?”

It can be hard to measure affection, and some people aren’t as affectionate as others. But if you’re giving the most love you can to a person, then you are giving unconditional love.

4. It’s not a smooth ride

Here’s the thing, we think that once we start loving unconditionally, things become easy, a smooth ride.

Now, once you become more accepting of yourself, you will notice feeling happier, lighter, and more at ease. But this doesn’t mean that the journey is over.

You’re going to be constantly confronted with situations that will be unpleasant. But loving unconditionally through them is important.

5. Form healthy boundaries

Listen, just because you love unconditionally doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care of yourself.

If you want to be able to love openly, set healthy boundaries with yourself first. Because if you’re not in a good place, you won’t be able to love honestly. 

6. Honesty is key

If you want to know how to love unconditionally, be honest with yourself and the other person. If you truly love someone unconditionally, you’ll be communicative in an honest way.

No, we didn’t say blunt honesty, but rather gentle honesty.

7. Not everyone deserves unconditional love

That’s right. Yes, it’s hard to read, but it’s true. If someone isn’t treating you right, disrespecting you, and making you feel bad, they’re not in love with themselves.

Now, if they don’t love themselves, then how are they going to love you?

8. Understand how people accept love

Though you may love being hugged and kissed, not everyone enjoys that. People love differently.

It’s not this one-size-fits-all idea that we all assume love is. Instead, love comes in different forms, but it’s your responsibility to adapt your love to others. 

9. It’s about forgiveness

This is possibly one of the hardest things to do. Who wants to forgive someone for wrongdoing?

Most of us like to bask in the feeling of anger, using it to fuel us in a negative way. Well, though you can do that, it’s not going to bring you to unconditional love. Instead, it’s going to age you.

10. Accept them for who they are

If you want to give someone unconditional love, you’re going to have to accept them for who they are. You can’t truly love someone if you’re just thinking of ways to change them or how they can improve themselves.

You need to accept their flaws because most of the time, these things won’t change.

11. Be communicative

It’s essential that you focus on communicating with the people you love. But this isn’t about telling someone ‘I love you.’ When we’re talking about communication, we’re talking about everything.

See how they’re feeling, what they’re needing, etc. Perhaps they need more affection or they’re feeling emotionally blocked, this is where you come in. Talk about those things and create an unconditional bond.

12. You’ll need to practice daily

If you want to succeed in giving and receiving unconditional love, then you’re going to need to work for it. This isn’t something that you can learn in a day. It’s going to take time.

So, every day, you should do at least one act of kindness without wanting anything in return. That could mean helping someone move, paying for a stranger’s coffee, or anything similarly selfless and helpful.

13. Practice self-love

Yes, you’re practicing unconditional love daily, but what about yourself? You need to spend time developing self-love for yourself.

Remember when we said that you can’t give unconditional love unless you love yourself? Well, this is when theory needs to be put into practice. Every single day, spend a moment loving yourself.

14. Care less

You may not know what we mean exactly. Well, sure, love is about caring for someone, but you shouldn’t care only when something is in your self-interest.

Unconditional love isn’t about doing things to serve you.

15. Make love a choice

If you want to love unconditionally, you must make love a choice. Actively decide that you’re going to work on yourself and the relationship in order to create unconditional love. If not, you won’t have the drive and patience to keep going.

16. Communicate in a non-defensive way

Unfortunately, most people aren’t taught the proper, healthy way to communicate with other people. Instead, many resort to yelling, screaming, or name-calling. This is not unconditional love.

Instead, when you love someone unconditionally, you communicate in a non-defensive way.

You want to hear what the other person says, and you have a “team” mentality. It’s not “you vs. me” but rather about “us” and finding mutually beneficial solutions.

17. Don’t let the little annoyances in your life override your love

Everyone has bad habits. You will never find someone who is “perfect” in your eyes and doesn’t do anything that bothers you. That’s just a given in life.

But when you love someone unconditionally, you don’t let those little annoyances ruin your love for the other person. Instead, you accept them for who they are and love all of their “flaws” and imperfections.

How to love unconditionally
How to love unconditionally

About Esha Saxena Mandala

Esha Saxena Mandala has extensive experience as a freelance writer, journalist, and content strategist. She has over six years of editorial and inbound marketing expertise and is fascinated with creating wonderful content that is insanely useful and effective.

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