If you see any of these signs in your new relationship, it’s time to have that talk with your boyfriend about his ex.
You must remember that none of this is your fault. You couldn’t have seen it coming. After all, the start of a relationship is all about infatuation and lust. If he says he loves you, it’s only natural that you believe him.
Here are 16 signs that can help you figure out if your boyfriend is over his ex or not. When you recognize any of them, get ready to have a serious conversation with him.
1. He talks about her all the time
This is kind of a giveaway. When you care about something or someone, you won’t shut up about them.
Don’t let him fool you by saying he hates her, and that’s why he mentions her all the time. The opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference. So if your boyfriend claims to hate his ex and can’t let it go, it’s a sign he’s not over her.
When a guy has come to terms with his breakup and moved on, he won’t keep whining about it. Because why would anyone want to bring up a past relationship with someone they’re currently dating unless they’re still tormented by it?
So, if your boyfriend constantly finds ways to bring his ex into the conversation without you initiating it, he’s definitely still missing her.
2. He doesn’t talk about her at all
Don’t be too happy that your boyfriend doesn’t speak about his ex at all. Maybe he keeps changing the subject whenever you ask him what happened between them. Maybe he even gets angry and refuses to talk about her.
If your boyfriend thinks speaking about his ex is too much, it’s a major sign he may not be over her. There are likely still a lot of unresolved feelings that he hasn’t managed to push aside.
You can feel bad for him all you want, but who’s going to feel bad for you?
3. His browser talks
Unless your boyfriend is a sneaky lover, he’ll definitely leave a few signs now and then on his computer or phone. If your boyfriend’s browser history shows signs that he’s often been visiting his ex’s social media account, he’s definitely not over her.
So how much is too much? Checking up on an ex once a week is barely acceptable, but if he’s lurking on his ex’s Instagram every day, you need to have that talk with him.
4. He refuses to unfollow her or delete her number
It’s definitely unhealthy that you have to tell your partner who they should talk to. However, if it bothers you that he is still in contact with his ex, you should let him know, as it is his responsibility to reassure you.
So if your boyfriend can’t unfollow or delete his ex’s number even though he hasn’t spoken to her since the breakup, that’s a sign he’s still not over her.
5. He looks flustered when he bumps into her
The next time you walk hand in hand with your boyfriend and bump into his ex, watch how he behaves. Does he let go of your hand immediately, or does he get flustered or mumble like an awkward prepubescent child?
If his heart starts racing or he starts sweating around his ex, she’s definitely been running marathons in his mind behind your back.
6. He’s still close friends with her
Sometimes, exes stay friends if they ended on good terms, but there would still be some boundaries.
After all, there’s a reason they broke up in the first place, so hanging out frequently as if nothing happened would be pretty weird. If your boyfriend and his ex are still super close after the breakup, there are still feelings between them.
7. He gets annoyed when he hears that she’s dating someone new
He’s dating you. He should be happy. So if he finds out that his ex is dating someone new and turns into an uncontrollable whining boy, he’s obviously pissed off that she’s doing the deed with someone new.
If he’s truly happy with you and has overpowered any strings of residual love, he shouldn’t be bothered if she’s with someone else.
8. He’s still a simp for her
Exes don’t have to stay friends, but they can still keep in touch. But if your boyfriend behaves like his ex’s servant and is always ready to help her out of a spot, that’s a sign he’s hoping they can get back together.
Only a guy who’s still in love will constantly try to help an ex out with her life, be it by being the handyman or someone to chauffeur her around.
9. He enjoys getting teased about his ex
Another sign is when your boyfriend stiffens a giggle or blushes like a schoolboy when his friends tease him about a romantic incident involving his ex.
If he’s completely over her, he will get annoyed or slightly uncomfortable when being teased about her. Only lost and lovelorn lovers like fantasizing and talking about exes with a glazed look of happiness plastered over their faces.
10. He still has her gifts or memories lying around the house
He can still keep the things his ex gave him, but pay attention to how he treats those things. A boyfriend who still holds a stuffed toy given by his ex while sleeping in the same bed with you is a major red flag.
Does he still polish the watch his ex gave him? Does he keep her scarf in his closet that still smells like her? Or worse, he gets upset when you accidentally touch the things his ex gave him!
That’s the sign to start packing your bags because your boyfriend’s ex is living in his head rent-free.
11. It’s been only a month or two since his break up
Everyone heals differently, but most people don’t just get over a breakup in a month. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who’s broken up with his girlfriend less than two months ago, he’s not forgotten about his ex.
And chances are, you’re his rebound girl, even if he doesn’t know it himself.
12. He still reminisces about the past
You may find him clinging to old memories when he thinks you’re not around.
Does he hold something of hers or secretly watch her Instagram stories when he thinks you’ve left the room? Does he read old text messages from her when he thinks you’re asleep?
If you see a sign that your boyfriend is still clinging to his memories with his ex, hold your pride and break up with him.
13. He’s not ended the relationship yet
This is a tricky place to be in. This is something you’ll come to experience if you steal a guy from his girlfriend.
Was he still in a relationship when you wooed him away? He may not have broken up with her yet, and even though he’s told you that he’s ended the relationship, they may still keep in touch.
His excuse is that he doesn’t want to hurt her, so he needs time to ease her out of loving him. Well, that’s all bullsh*t. Kicking him out is the only answer.
14. He still keeps her pictures
Does your boyfriend have loads of his ex’s photos on his phone and refuse to delete them? Seriously, which guy in his right mind keeps his ex’s photos on his phone? Deleting them is the right thing to do if he’s actually over her.
If your boyfriend was in a long-term relationship, he might even have his ex’s nude pictures and steamy videos. Of course, he won’t tell you about it. He’s definitely taking a good look at them while you’re away.
15. He compares the two of you
Another big warning sign is when your boyfriend starts comparing you to his ex. He’ll compare how you act, the way the two of you are, and the kind of relationship you have with him.
Even if it’s a good comparison, nobody wants to be compared to anyone, especially not their boyfriend’s ex!
A new relationship is meant to be a fresh start. So his ex certainly shouldn’t even be in the picture.
16. He struggles to open up to you
Maybe he finds it difficult to let you in. He may tell you how much you mean to him, yet he can’t seem to allow your connection to grow to a deeper level.
This is more serious if he just went through a bad breakup before dating you. It could be because your boyfriend is afraid of getting hurt again, or a sign that he’s not over his ex.