There are many reasons why a girl might be upset or crying – far too many to list here. But we can give you a few ideas on why she might need comfort and the potential reasons behind her sadness and tears.
1. She’s going through a life-changing experience
Maybe she’s going through something big, and it’s making her feel stressed and unsure. She may be stuck in her own head at this time and feeling worried about all sorts of different things.
2. It’s the time of the month
It’s not the best idea to come out and ask her if this is the case, but simply bear in mind that it could be the reason behind her sadness. Hormones can make a girl feel up one moment and down the next.
Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s sad or crying is important if it’s her time of the month – but you need to approach this one carefully!
3. She just feels a little sadder than usual
Sometimes we all feel a little down, and we can’t really pinpoint the reason why. Moods ebb and flow, and perhaps she’s just having a down day and needs a little comfort from you.
4. She misses her loved ones
If she’s away from her family and friends, she may be down because she’s feeling homesick or missing those she’s close to. Cheer her up and suggest she video calls her nearest and dearest – technology can make us feel much closer than we really are these days.
5. She witnessed something traumatizing
If she saw something that upset her, it’s likely to stick in her mind for a while. Support her during this time and don’t push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
If she witnessed something really traumatizing, she may need a little professional help, and you could encourage her to reach out.
6. Something triggered her
We all have things that trigger us and make us feel upset or sad about something that happened in the past. If she’s encountered a personal trigger, be there for her until she finds her feet again.
7. Post-sex crying
Have you ever had your partner turn out the waterworks after a particularly randy romp? If you think she’s crying because she’s happy, you’re right! However, if you think she’s crying because the sex blew *and not in a fun way* then… well, you might be right about that too.
This particular reason why a woman is crying is sad but true. And we definitely don’t condone this reasoning, but women are pretty good at manipulating men with their tears. After all, most men are quite uncomfortable around crying people.
She’ll say things like, “Come to this party. Oh I know you don’t want to go to,” or “Don’t be mad at me,” or “Don’t make me do this thing.” And the list goes on and on!
Hey, we never said it was an honorable reason to cry, but it can be a true one.
9. She’s stressed and frustrated
When pushed to the brink of frustration, some women may begin to cry. If you’re pissing her off and she’s at the brink of her patience, she might burst into tears.
Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s crying, for this reason, can be tricky.
10. She could be crying because she’s happy
On the opposite spectrum of being bummed, women can also cry when they’re feeling beyond jazzed about a certain situation. That’s right, there’s just no winning!
How to comfort a girl the right way
There is no longer a reason to panic when your girl gets upset—or even any girl in your life. You benefit from helping your sisters, cousins, or even your mom!
If you can’t comfort a girl the right way, it can be hard to maintain a strong relationship with them. These tips can help you understand how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or down without making things worse.
1. Listen to her situation without interrupting
And we mean REALLY listen to her talk about her issues. Don’t just sit there pretending to listen to what she’s saying but then drift off into your own world. You have to hear her situation out and try to understand what she’s going through.
2. Give her a consensual hug
Hugs make everything better for girls—unless you’re the problem, of course. Otherwise, give her a hug and just sit in the hug for a moment or so. The physical contact makes her feel better and relieves some of that stress.
However, make sure she’s happy for you to hug her – she might be feeling super-sensitive and just not want anyone that close. Check by saying, “I want to hug you, is that okay?”
3. Speak softly and gently
Girls can be very vulnerable creatures at times, and when they get upset, it just heightens their emotions that much more. If you talk to her in a harsh manner or even yell for some reason, you’ll just set her off again.
Use a soft tone, and it’ll be soothing to her.
4. Offer your opinion and advice
Whatever’s going on with her, you probably have an opinion. This is where you have to be careful, but you can definitely tell her what you think.
If you think she may be overreacting, you can tell her that. Just use better word choices. Saying something like, “Are you sure it’s really THAT big of a deal?” won’t help.
You can even give her some advice about how you might handle the situation if you were in her shoes. Make sure to tell her it’s how YOU would handle it and not that that is how SHE has to do things.
5. Never tell her to “calm down”
This is the single WORST thing anyone could ever say to a girl when she’s upset. She will take this as “you’re being crazy and unreasonable,” even if that’s not how you mean it.
Avoid saying this at all costs if you want to walk away from her with your relationship fully intact.
6. Tell her how strong she is
No, not that she could punch a hole through a brick building, but rather that she’s emotionally stronger than the issue at hand. Tell her she’s been through worse. That she can get through it no matter what and that you believe she can.
7. Make sure you take her side
Never take the opposing side when a girl is upset. No matter what you really think, if you want to comfort a girl the right way, you take her side.
If you don’t, she’ll just think you’re trying to argue with her, and that will wind her up.
8. Don’t make snap judgments
If you want to know how to comfort a girl the right way, never start assuming things right away. If you interrupt her and sound like you’re judging her, she’s going to be really angry with you. She’ll get even more upset.
In order to comfort her right, you can’t make judgments about what she’s going through.
9. Take her to her favorite place to eat
Food comforts pretty much everyone. When you hear that she’s upset, offer to take her out to her favorite place to eat while you talk about what she’s going through.
The familiarity of her favorite place will lift her spirits, and your presence will comfort her.
10. Talk about good memories
This is a tactic that works more by distracting her than anything else. If you relate these memories to her current problems, it’s even better. Bringing up good memories helps ease her mood and make her happier.
11. Give her extra attention
She might need more attention than normal during this time. She’ll want more hugs, kisses, and even more compliments from you. So go right ahead and give them to her.
Feeling appreciated and loved comforts any girl, no matter her issue.
12. Get her mind off her issues by taking her on a date
Distraction is fantastic for comforting a girl! Even though it’s not directly dealing with the issue at hand, getting her mind off the issues by going out and having fun puts her in a better mindset to deal with those problems. Also, she’ll credit you for making it happen.
So take her bowling. Take her to see a great new movie. Take her mini golfing. Just take her out to do something fun to make her completely forget about the problems she’s facing.
13. Make her laugh
Be funny! If you can make a girl laugh, you’ll comfort her almost instantly. Tell jokes, be goofy, and even fall in order to make her laugh. When you cheer her up by making her laugh, you comfort her the right way.
14. Let her know you’re always there for her
Girls like to know that they’re not alone in their problems. If you really want to comfort her, make sure she knows she can go to you for any problems in her life, big or small.
Knowing she has someone that cares enough to be there is such a comforting feeling for girls.
15. Read her body language
If the girl in front of you wants a comforting hug, her body language will let you know. Similarly, if she wants her own space, she’ll make it known. Just be perceptive. If you still can’t figure it out, it never hurts to ask!
16. Reassurance is everything
Most women like communication, especially when they are emotionally stressed out. If she’s crying, just communicate with her. Reassure her that everything is going to be fine, and tell her you’ll figure it all out together.
17. Acknowledge her feelings
There is nothing worse than not having your feelings acknowledged. If you don’t do this, she’ll feel like you’re not taking her seriously, and that will make everything ten times worse.
Say something like, “I understand you’re feeling frustrated right now, but we’ll sort it out together.” That not only shows her you know how she’s feeling, but it shows that you’re on her side too.
18. Make it clear you support her
If she knows that you’ve got her back no matter what, it will help her to feel better. Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or just feeling down is largely about her understanding that she doesn’t have to face things alone.
19. Be silent together
Sometimes you don’t have to speak. Maybe she just wants to sit in silence with you by her side so she knows that you’re there. If that’s what she wants, and you sense that she doesn’t want to speak, just sit with her.
Hug her, hold her hand, or just stroke her hair.
20. Ask what you can do
This is the simple act of saying, “I know you’re feeling down, what can I do to make you feel better?” There might not be anything you can do, but the fact you’ve asked and shown interest in making her feel more upbeat will go a long way.
21. Show empathy
Empathy is a very strong tool we all have at our disposal. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel and how you would act. It will filter through in all of your actions and let her know that you’re right there with her.
22. Don’t try to fix it
It’s quite likely that she doesn’t want you to go bulldozing in and trying to fix whatever the problem is. Instead, just be there and support her. If there is an issue to be solved, she will want to be the one to do it – her way.
23. Cheer her up with a simple gift
A small gift shows her that you’re thinking of her and you’re doing your best to make her smile. It doesn’t need to be anything huge; it can be something as simple as her favorite coffee or a chocolate bar you know she loves. It’s the thought that counts.
24. Show some humor
If all else fails, try to make her laugh. Depending upon her mood and situation, this may or may not work, but it’s worth a try.
Just don’t make fun of her situation; keep the humor subject light and away from her troubles.
25. Show some positivity
Try and put a positive spin on whatever the issue is. For instance, if she tells you that she’s feeling down about her vacation being over and having to go back to work, suggest you start looking to book the next one.
Positive thoughts are infectious, and the more upbeat you are, she will start to feel it for herself.